Relationship Issues, Problems, Advice | Guidance on Trust and Relation

Question:

Hi, I am 12 years old and my sister is dating a new guy. She has talked to me in the past about how she is attracted to some girls. She has a friend that is a girl and she just says they are really close but I know the difference. I know she loves and cares about the guy she is with without a doubt but I have read some of her text messages from this really close friend and they are very disturbing.

Some talk about how they are in love, some talk about how they want to get married and start a family, some are about sex I am worried because I think she cares about this guy alot but she is worried about getting cheated on so she is dating or seeing someone else just in case things with this person do not worm out, she has someone else to fall back on and be like yeah he dumped me but I still have someone else.
My question is, how can I ask her without hurting he feelings and how do I try to find this out without her finding what I am trying to find out?

Answer:

Relationship Help

It is good to know that you are so concerned about your sister. But there are certain things that you need to understand before you interfere in her life and in result affect your relationship with her.

  1. Firstly, never tell her what she is doing is wrong.
    Try to understand the real reason from her. It is possible that she doesn’t really love this guy, but simply has a crush on him. She is not looking for a serious relationship with him.
  2. Secondly, in order to understand your sister’s position, try ‘reverse psychology’. Put yourself in a position similar to hers and try to get her advice on it. See what she has to say. Let her speak. Don’t make it obvious as though you are trying to elicit information from her for her condition, but ask her what she would do in your “situation”.

Your concern for your sister is obvious, but always remembers that we all are individuals with different mindsets and beliefs. Don’t try to enforce your beliefs on to your sister, she is not going to change her feelings for anyone just because you think otherwise nor is she going to like your interference in her life. Just make sure that you convey to her that you are always there to share and help her out if she was ever to need any psychological or moral support. Take care and all the best.


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